From Anxiety to Rage.

I’ve been crawling through my days like a snail. I like that. I need that right now.

I’m still taking medication for my nighttime anxiety along with other herbs and supplements. I am still taking tests. My thyroid seems okay although I do have an appointment with a really awesome doctor to go through my labs. But I don’t wanna talk about tests today. I don’t wanna talk about markers or labs or mold or lyme or thyroid or adrenals or hormones or any other of the hundreds of things I’ve researched or heard about from others.

What I wanna talk about is…
RAGE.
Ha.
Yeah.
That.

That is what has been rolling through me these past few days. Like a fire ready to fuck some shit up. My rage came roaring and I know- I knowwwwww what is happening- and it’s so much more than hormones or physical dis-ease (although that is there yes). What’s underneath is a message- and it has to do what’s next, what I deeply yearn for, what I’m DONE with and…. mourning some things I deeply desired this year which didn’t come to fruition which I haven’t had a chance to mourn because I’ve been grieving the reality of this world. I’ve been grappling with all that is happening collectively and my own personal stuff. And what transpired is my own dark night of the soul. There’s been an…