I don’t want to be normal. Fuck normal.
Pain again.
Physical.
This time it’s physical.
Insides twisting, cramping, screaming.
My tests are normal.
I don’t know what that means.
What is normal?
Is it normal for teens to stay on screens more than they walk on grass or play in the mud?
Is it normal to have a glass (or 2) of wine every night to wind down?
It is normal to have a gazillion tik tok challenges that take no talent but make the talent?
Is it normal to be working 12 hour shifts to have basic needs met?
Is it normal to have unexplained physical pain that you can take a pill for- not to cure but to minimize the ouch?
I will go to my acupuncturist. I will spend more money on more tests. I will call on my inner witch to create cash flow to get the help I need for this body that feels so much and costs so much. I will write the truth so it doesn’t stay bottled up inside, my bones can’t take expression for the sake of expression, it needs to come from the core. I will lament for a day and be human, feel the frustration and exhaustion of being human, and then come home to the wild wise voice that carries me through. I will do something insane and take a day off from productivity. I will lie in the grass and stare at the clouds even though there are a million things to do on my list.
